This all changed in 2016!
2016 was the year everything changed. But not to the way I thought it would.
My past included a lot of ups and downs. I lacked direction and focus and with that I suffered from addictions, whether that'll be food, smoking, drinking and generally partying excessivley.
As an individual, I'm highly sensitive person, with an introverted and shy side and sometimes and a lot of times, very forgetful with so much on my mind, to the point where I think I might have ADHD, which I call High Definition Attention Difference. I didn't know this at the time, but as a teenager I was also suffering from social phobia, fear of speaking in front of people and feeling extremely unsure and self conscious about myself, not feeling worthy enough.
I lived in Spain, from the age of 11, with a totally different lifestyle to what I grew up with in Hamburg, Germany. It was a big change for me and actually the change moving from Germany to Spain at such a young age, had an impact on my mental and emotional wellbeing, getting bullied and feeling mainly as an outsider. On top of that, the area in Spain that I was living in was really quiet. Beautiful, but very quiet, which once I discovered partying, led to an excessive habit, which on one side was a release to my extroverted side that was hidden behind the shy self and inhibiting me, which later included a lot of escapism, leading to a lack of that 'get up and go', you get from doing something that you love.
I think all of this had an impact on on me being a people pleaser & not being able to say no.
So let's roll forward to 2016, which led me to a great knowing.